Remember that there is a local propriety to be observed in all companies； and that what is extremely proper in one company may be， and often is， highly improper in another. The jokes， the bonmots， the little adventures， which may do very well in one company， will seem flat and tedious， when related in another. The particular characters， the habit， the cant of one company may give merit to a word， or a gesture， which would have none at all if divested of those accidental circumstances. Here people very commonly err； and fond of something that has entertained them in one company， and in certain circumstances， repeat it with emphasis in another， where it is either insipid， or， it may be， offensive， by being ill timed or misplaced. Nay， they often do it with this silly preamble： “I will tell you an excellent thing.” or，“I will tell you the best thing in the world.” This raises expectations， which， when absolutely disappointed， make the relaror of this excellent thing look， very deservedly， like a fool.
If you would particularly gain the affection and friendship of particular people， whether men or women， endeavor to find out their predominant excellency， if they have one， and their prevailing weakness， which everybody has； and do justice to the one， and something more than justice to the other. Men have various objects in which they may excel， or at least would be thought to excel； and， though they love to hear justice done to them， where they know that they excel， yet they are most and best flattered upon those points where they wish to excel， and yet are doubtful whether they do or not.
亲爱的孩子：
惹人喜欢要有必备的条件，但又是一门不易学到的艺术，很难将其归纳成规则。你自己良好的判断力与观察力将使你领悟比我教授给你的还要多的东西。“己所不欲，勿施于人”，据我所知，这是取信于人的最可靠的办法。细心留意别人怎样做让你愉快，那么很可能你做同样的事也会使别人愉悦。如果别人对你的性情、兴趣甚至弱点甚为关心，让你满心欢喜，请相信，你对别人施以同样的热情和关照，也一定会使他们高兴。与人来往时，需顺应其中的氛围，勿矫揉造作，发现同伴的幽默之处时，就诚然开怀一乐甚至调笑一番，这是每个人对群体应具备的态度。在人前不要说瞎话，没有比这更让人讨厌和不悦的事了。如果你恰好有一则很简短而又相当切题的故事，可用最简洁明了的语言叙述一番。即便如此，也要表示出你并不擅长讲述，而仅是因为它实在太简短才使你情不自禁地这样做。
在交谈中，首先要摒弃以自我为中心的癖好，决不试图让别人对自己的私事或者自己关注的事产生兴趣。尽管这些事情对你来说兴趣盎然，但对于别人却味同嚼蜡，不得要领。再者，个人的私事也不可能永远隐秘。无论你自以为有什么好处，切忌在人前自爱自怜地展示，也不要像许多人那样，挖空心思地引导谈话，以伺机自我表现一番。如果你确有长处，必会被人发现，不必自己点出，何况这样做最好。当与人有是非之争时，绝不要激动地大喊大叫，即使你自以为正确或者知道自己是正确的，也要善加控制，冷静地说出自己的意见，这是说服人的唯一方法。但如果这样仍不奏效，就试着变个话题，高高兴兴地说：“我俩谁也说服不了谁，而且也不是非得说服对方不可，我们讨论别的吧。”
要记住，与人交往时要尊重习俗的礼仪。在这一群人中恰如其分的话语，对另一群人而言却不适宜。与某些人适宜的幽默、妙语、甚至小小的出格行为，换个地方会显得平淡自然，或令人苦恼。说一个词儿或者打一个手势，在某群人中即暗示着某种性格、习惯和隐语，而一旦离开那种特定的氛围，就会毫无意义。人们常常在这一点上犯过失。他们喜欢把在某群人、某种环境中的得意言行随意搬到别的地方使用，而此时却风趣尽失，或不合时宜，或张冠李戴而唐突无聊。是的，他们常用这样笨拙的开场白：“告诉你一件很棒的事！”或者“我要告诉你世上最绝妙的……”希望这些话能勾起对方的期待，但结果是彻底的绝望，使得说这些话的人看起来像个十足的傻子。
如果你获得别人的好感和情感，无论是男人或女人，要特别留意去发现他们可能具备的长处，以及他们明显的不足之处。人人都会有缺陷，但要公正而善意地对待别人的这个或那个不足。人们还会有许多过人之处，或者至少具有可以称做优异的地方。尽管人们喜欢听到对其自知的优点的赞美，但他们最感兴趣的乃是对自己渴望具备且尚不自信的长处的赞许。
记忆填空
1. the tone of the company that you are in， and do not pretend to it； be serious， gay， or even trifling， as you the present humor of the company； this is an attention due every individual to the majority.
2. Of all banish the egotism out of your conversation， and think of entertaining people with your personal concerns or private affairs； though they are interesting to you， they are tedious and impertinent to everybody else； besides that， one cannot keep one's own private affairs too .
佳句翻译
1. “己所不欲，勿施于人”，据我所知，这是取信于人的最可靠的办法。
2. 尽管这些事情对你来说兴趣盎然，但对于别人却味同嚼蜡，不得要领。
3. 人人都会有缺陷，但要公正而善意地对待别人的这个或那个不足。
短语应用
1. to give that turn to the conversation， which may supply you with an opportunity of exhibiting them.
supply…with：向……提供；供应
2. whether men or women， endeavor to find out their predominant excellency， if they have one.
find out：找出，查明；发现，揭发
