登陆注册
3090200000009

第9章 段落写作(The Paragraph)(3)

5. It is easy to find an apartment in Los Angeles. Actually, it is very convenient for people to live in a city if it is easy to find an apartment there.(yes)

6. There are also crimes and gangs in Los Angeles. This is the negative aspect of Los Angeles. (no)

7. You have to own a car. It is not really an important factor for the topic sentence. Usually, if you have own a car in a city, it may imply the inconvenience of that city. (no)

8. Los Angeles has easy access to Mexico and Latin America. It is very good for people to stay in Los Angeles which shows that it is a nice city to live. (yes)

9. You can choose from many universities and colleges. That shows city"s education level. (yes)

10.The 1984 Olympics were held there. It is not a really important factor to the topic sentence. (no)

可见2、6、7、10 内容可以删去,因为它们要么和主题句不一致,要么是主题句的不利条件。故1、3、4、5、8、9观点保留为写作的内容:

1. nice climate

2. beaches are close

3. diverse multicultural population

4. easy to find an apartment

5. easy access to Mexico and Latin America

6. many colleges and universities to choose from

五、撰写段落提纲(Arranging Ideas in a Plan)

写作内容选定后,把被选的内容写成提纲并充实具体细节。

Topic sentence: Los Angeles is a pleasant place to live

I. Great climate

A. always sunny

B. seldom rains

II. Convenient living condition

A. close to beaches

B. easy access to Mexico and Latin America

C. easy to find an apartment

III. Diverse multicultural population

A. people from all over the world

B. Many ethics restaurant

IV. Many colleges and universities to choose from

A. private colleges

B. community colleges

C. state colleges

Concluding sentence: Los Angeles is a city with a lot to offer, and it is a nice place to live.

六、撰写和修改段落(Writing and Revising the Paragraph)

提纲写好后,下一步就是初稿的撰写。对作者来说务必牢记,初稿只是草稿决非最后的稿子,作者应该依据提纲认真修改和充实。仍然以Topic sentence: Los Angeles is a pleasant place to live为例,根据提纲我们可试写如下:

Los Angeles is a pleasant place to live. The climate is really great. It is always sunny and seldom rains. In addition, living there is very convenient. The beaches are close and it has easy access to Mexico and Latin America. Another great thing about the city is its diverse multicultural population. People from all over the world, including many Latin American and Asian countries live in Los Angeles. Therefore, you can find many ethic restaurants there. In Los Angeles, there are also many colleges and universities raging from state colleges to private ones. There are also some community colleges, too. In brief Los Angeles is a city with a lot to offer, and it is a nice place to live.

当把文章初稿完成后,应该反复阅读并带着问题去修改完善。可以依据下列问题去发现错误并加以修改。这样,不仅能提高作品质量,长期坚持还能养成好的写作习惯。

1. Does it have a clear, complete and limited topic sentence?

2. Do the supporting sentences fully explain and develop the topic sentence?

3. Are the sentences are varied enough to avoid boredom?

4. Are the words clear, concerted, and vivid?

5. Are there any grammar, spelling, and punctuation error?

6. Are you satisfied that this is your best job you can do?

(第二节)段落内部基本结构

一、基本布局

段落是一组和同一主题关系密切的句子集合,段落大多包括三类句子: 主题句、扩展句和结尾句,其布局对初学写作的人来说可以遵循下图:

Topic sentence Supporting sentence 1Supporting sentence 2Supporting sentence 3Concluding sentence e.g. There are three reasons why John is not going to university. Firstly, his family is quite poor, and his four young brothers and sisters are still at school, he feels that he should help his family financially as soon as possible. Secondly, if he went to university, his mother would be let alone to look after the young children. Finally, he has been offered a good job with excellent chances of promotion. Consequently, although he wants to go to university very much, John is going to take the job instead!

From Paragraph Writing, by Frank Chaplen

Qs:

1. What is the topic sentence?

2. How many supporting sentences are there?

3. Is there a concluding sentence? And where?

二、主题句(Topic Sentence)

主题句的写作要注意两个基本要求:第一是要包含主导思想(the controlling idea),第二是要做到概括和具体的统一。例如,我们不能说:“We had a pleasant summer vacation but summer vacation always seems short.”。画线部分不统一。

在具体的写作中,最容易出现的现象就是主题句过于概括的现象。请看下面的病例:

I want to talk about my father. He is strict with his children, especially me. He won"t let me out of the house unless I"ve done all my homework. He is a tall and rather skinny man. Some people say he is goodlooking. He has a nice streak of gray in his hair. He laughs a lot and enjoys life. My father is interesting.

三、扩展句(Developing Sentences)

从段落的推展过程说,第一个步骤是写主题句,第二个步骤将是写扩展句。例如,你要陈述你选择某院校的理由,第一步,写出主题句:There are two main reasons why I have decided to attend Bingston University next year.第二步,以数个理由推展你的主题:

示范段落

①There are two main reasons why I have decided to attend Bingston University next year.②First of all, there is the question of money:Bingston"s tuition is reasonable and I don"t even have to pay it all at once.③This is very important, since my father is not a rich man.④With Bingston"s “deferred payment plan,” my father will be able to pay my tuition without too much difficulty.⑤The second reason is the fine education which I feed will receive there in agriculture,my chosen field.⑥It is a well-known fact that Bingston hires only the finest professors in its Agriculture Department.⑦Moreover,the university requires all agricultural students to get practical experience by working on farms in the area while they are still going to school.

分析,细节: two main reasons:

理由1:financial consideration②

a.reasonable tuition③

b.deferred payment plan④

理由2:quality of education⑤

a.fine teachers③

b.practical experience⑦

在两个主要理由之下,作者用更小的细节支持它们。由此可见,段落的推展依赖于支持主题句的细节(details)。推展段落的方法很多。通常每个段落以一种方法为“支配方法”(the dominant method),必要时,可运用其他一种或数种方法作为“辅助方法”(the supporting method)。上面的示范段落使用因果法(cause-and-effect)作为支配方法,分类法(division and classification)作为辅助方法。作者还运用了“重要性排列顺序”(the order of importance)作为安排细节、组织段落的手段。我们将在以下各单元逐个讨论这些方法。

扩展句(supporting sentence),就段落内部句子关系,扩展句和主题句之间至少要注意以下两点:第一,意义的相关性(unity);第二,逻辑的一致性(coherence)。务必注意下列病例现象:

1.跑题

同类推荐
  • 教你打乒乓球(学生球类运动学习手册)

    教你打乒乓球(学生球类运动学习手册)

    球类体育运动的起源很早,中国在2300年前,即春秋战国时代,就有了足球运动,当时的足球叫“蹴鞠,至汉代,蹴鞠运动发展到了鼎盛时期,有了专业足球队、竞赛规则,还设立了裁判员。汉代,我国的踢毽子运动也十分盛行,至清末,参加的人越来越多,人们不仅用踢毽子锻炼身体,而且还把它和书画、下棋、放风筝、养花鸟、唱二黄等相提并论,可见对其的宠爱程度。
  • 幸福之门

    幸福之门

    我们中小学生必须要加强阅读量,以便提高自己的语文素养和写作能力,以便广开视野和见识,促进身心素质不断地健康成长。但是,现在各种各样的读物卷帙浩繁,而广大中小学生时间又十分有限,因此,找到适合自己阅读的读物,才能够轻松快速地达到阅读的效果。
  • 蹲下来和孩子一起看世界

    蹲下来和孩子一起看世界

    本书讲述了教师工作具有极强的艺术性。而对于孩子,也就是那些中小学生来说,由他们的本身特点及身心发展规律所决定,老师又必须要能抓住这些孩子的特点,避免成人化的教育方式。因此,老师在教育时,必须要能“蹲下自己的身子”。《蹲下来和孩子一起看世界》吸收了近几年教学实践中的经典案例以及中外教育的各种优势,对“蹲下来”的教育方式进行精辟的阐释,相信对广大教育工作者会大有裨益。
  • 教你打网球(学生球类运动学习手册)

    教你打网球(学生球类运动学习手册)

    21世纪,人类进入了新经济时代。综合国力竞争的实质是民族素质的竞争,是人才的竞争,是教育的竞争。在这样的背景下,加强素质教育,尤其是进行身体素质教育就显得更为重要。球类运动是世界上开展的最广泛的运动项目之一,也是广大体育爱好者乐于观赏和参与的体育运动。经常进行此类运动,不仅可以增强人们的体质,提升身体的协调性,而且还能增强我们的自信心以及培养团队精神。
  • 好兵帅克奇遇记

    好兵帅克奇遇记

    勇敢善良的帅克相貌平平,还有些愚笨滑稽,在第一次世界大战期间,他被征召入伍,奔赴前线,开始了一段荒唐可笑的军旅生活。小说以笑骂的笔触对黑暗腐朽的奥匈帝国及当时社会的一切丑恶现象进行了辛辣的讽刺。
热门推荐
  • 嫡女棣王妃

    嫡女棣王妃

    “姨娘,夫人似乎断气了~”“哼!这么一碗药都下去了,难道她还能活着不成?”“那这······”一个年纪稍长的人朝着这位称作姨娘的人示意了一下自己手中的婴儿,似乎有些犹豫,“这好歹是个男孩,现在夫人已经死了,如果姨娘把他占为己有,然后得了这府中的中馈······”“嬷嬷?!”女子也不等她的话说完,就打断了她,“你记住了,我恨死了这个女人,她的儿子,只能随着她去,我就是以后自己生不出儿子,抱养别人的,也不会要她的。把他给我扔马桶里面溺了,对外就说一出生就死了!”猩红的嘴唇,吐出来的话却是格外的渗人。嬷嬷还想说什么,动了动嘴,却是一句话也没有说,转身朝着后面放着马桶的地方走去。却是没有发现旁边地上一个穿着有些破旧的衣服的小女孩此刻正瞪大了眼睛看着她们两。这是什么情况?自己不是被炸死了吗?怎么会······于此同时,脑中不断有记忆闪现出来,她们是自己的母亲和刚出生的弟弟啊?!不行,先救人。转头看见旁边谁绣花留下的针线跟剪刀,想到自己前世的身手,拿起一根绣花针就朝着那个嬷嬷飞了过去,却在半路上掉落下来,暗骂一声,这人是什么破身体。却引得那两个人听见动静看了过来。女人阴狠的盯着她,“你居然没有死?”微微眯起眼睛,自己的前身也是被她们弄死的了,看样子她们谁也不会放过,抓起旁边的剪刀就冲了过去。随着几声惨叫声,从此以后,府中府外都传遍了她的“美名”——凤家大小姐心肠歹毒,刺伤了府中无数的人,宛如一个疯子。
  • 我们三个都是穿越来的

    我们三个都是穿越来的

    我是因为看了很多的穿越小说,也很想穿越。谁想我想想就能穿越,穿越就穿越吧,居然穿成怀孕九月的待产产妇,开玩笑嘛!人家在二十一世纪还是黄花一枚呢。这也可以接受,可是明明是丞相之女,堂堂四皇子的正牌王妃怎么会居住在这么一个几十平米得破落小院子里,她怎么混的,亏她还一身绝世武功,再是医毒双绝。哎。没关系,既然让我继承了这么多优越条件,一个王爷算得了什么?生下一对龙凤胎,居然都是穿过来的,神啊,你对我太好了吧?且看我们母子三人在古代风生水起笑料百出的古代生活吧。片段一在我走出大门时,突然转身对着轩辕心安说道:“王爷,若是哪天不幸你爱上了我,我定会让你生不如死的。”然后魅惑地一笑,潇洒地走了出去。片段二当我对着铜镜里的美人自恋地哼出不着调地歌时。“别哼了,难听死了。”一个清脆的声音响起。~~~接着一声尖叫紧跟着另一声尖叫。我用上轻功躲进了被子里.~~~"我和你一样是二十一世纪来的。”“你好,娘亲,哥哥,以后要多多指教。”来自两个婴儿的嘴里,我摸摸额头,没高烧啊。片段三“小鱼儿,我可是你孩子的爹,况且我没有写休书,你还是我的王妃。我会对你好的。”安王爷霸道地说道。“你们认识他吗?他说是你们的爹?”我问着脚边的两个孩子。“不认识,”女孩说道。“我们的爹不是埋在土里了吗?怎么他一点也不脏?”男孩问道。那个男人满头黑线。“对不起,我们不认识你。”说完拉着孩子转身就走。片段四“爹爹,这是我娘,你看漂亮吧?”南宫心乐拉着一个白衣帅哥进来问道。我无语中。“爹爹,你看我娘亲厉害吧?“南宫心馨拉着另外一个妖精似地男人走了进来。我想晕。“这才是我们的爹。”“才不是呢,这个才是”两人开始吵起来了。“我才是你们的爹。”安王爷气急地吼道。“滚一边去。”两个小孩同时说道。屋里顿时混乱之中。转头,回屋睡觉去了。推荐完结文《别哭黛玉》完结文《穿越之无泪潇湘》新文,《极品花痴》
  • 嫡女棣王妃

    嫡女棣王妃

    “姨娘,夫人似乎断气了~”“哼!这么一碗药都下去了,难道她还能活着不成?”“那这······”一个年纪稍长的人朝着这位称作姨娘的人示意了一下自己手中的婴儿,似乎有些犹豫,“这好歹是个男孩,现在夫人已经死了,如果姨娘把他占为己有,然后得了这府中的中馈······”“嬷嬷?!”女子也不等她的话说完,就打断了她,“你记住了,我恨死了这个女人,她的儿子,只能随着她去,我就是以后自己生不出儿子,抱养别人的,也不会要她的。把他给我扔马桶里面溺了,对外就说一出生就死了!”猩红的嘴唇,吐出来的话却是格外的渗人。嬷嬷还想说什么,动了动嘴,却是一句话也没有说,转身朝着后面放着马桶的地方走去。却是没有发现旁边地上一个穿着有些破旧的衣服的小女孩此刻正瞪大了眼睛看着她们两。这是什么情况?自己不是被炸死了吗?怎么会······于此同时,脑中不断有记忆闪现出来,她们是自己的母亲和刚出生的弟弟啊?!不行,先救人。转头看见旁边谁绣花留下的针线跟剪刀,想到自己前世的身手,拿起一根绣花针就朝着那个嬷嬷飞了过去,却在半路上掉落下来,暗骂一声,这人是什么破身体。却引得那两个人听见动静看了过来。女人阴狠的盯着她,“你居然没有死?”微微眯起眼睛,自己的前身也是被她们弄死的了,看样子她们谁也不会放过,抓起旁边的剪刀就冲了过去。随着几声惨叫声,从此以后,府中府外都传遍了她的“美名”——凤家大小姐心肠歹毒,刺伤了府中无数的人,宛如一个疯子。
  • 花田喜事:酒家娘子

    花田喜事:酒家娘子

    ”田岚青眼睛一眯,眉毛一挑:“喊娘可以,女扮男装到田家酒窖里去打(tou)杂(chi);【“小明小明。不过后头得加个‘子’。”】【轻松种田,花小骨认为,皇商田家里三个少爷,各个都很古怪。老大是个腹黑;老二是个断袖;就小傻子老三最可爱,却还总爱抱着她喊“娘”;可惜生活所迫,嗜酒如命的花小骨不得不束了胸,男女主1V1。】,快喊我娘~”“小骨头,他是我弟弟。”“我知道啊,我不介意你也喊我娘
  • 混沌生死诀

    混沌生死诀

    现代人古枫,穿越到了仙侠世界。在一个神秘老者的帮助下,从一个无法修炼的废柴,蜕变为一个修真奇才,凭借着天生的优势,他更是将《混沌生死诀》修炼到了极致,从而掌控了天地大道,成就了无上圣道!
  • 中国古典散文集2

    中国古典散文集2

    散文是美的,它能给人以美的享受,然而什么样的散文才是最美的散文呢?秦牧曾说:“精粹警辟的、谈笑风生的、亲切感人的、玲珑剔透的,使你读时入了神、读后印象久久不会消失的好散文,还是不多。”他还说:“一篇好的散文,应该通过各种各样的内容给人以思想的启发、美的感受、情操的陶冶。”品读精美的散文,宛如清风般涤荡沐浴;让散文的清扬与美丽永远地伴随你。
  • 萌狐要逆天:邪少快护驾

    萌狐要逆天:邪少快护驾

    天啊!她居然穿越了,基于前世活得太他嘛的累,这次既然重生那就好好的做人呗,只要人不犯她,她绝不犯人,当她还没弄清这里是牛朝还是马代时,某妃来势凶凶,好吧!看你是女人的份上,她就免为其难的为来人整容了,...
  • 绝世狂妃:嚣张二小姐

    绝世狂妃:嚣张二小姐

    前世,她是四大家族之南宫世家的接班人,综合实力世界排行前十的高手,驯兽除恶,守护着天朝;今生,她是不会一点玄力的庶女二小姐,懦弱无能,逆来顺受!当她因故穿越到了废物小姐的身上之后,将会发生怎么样的传奇呢?
  • 玩转恶魔校草

    玩转恶魔校草

    【完结】从小的冤家对头乔子晔追着她要结婚;野猴子言小晟更是将她禁锢起来要做她的男朋友;她亲爱的弟弟陆路则喊着“我喜欢你,从小就喜欢你!”。在这场追逐爱情的游戏里,到最后究竟是谁玩转了谁?
  • 学会选择 懂得放下

    学会选择 懂得放下

    学会选择,你的心灵得到了洗涤,生活就会变得简单。人生的苦楚源于不舍得勇敢放下。懂得放下,人生才会得到解脱.快乐才会一生相伴。人要学会选择,选择自己该做的事,才不会委屈了自己。人要懂得放下,放下心中难舍的痛,才不会迷失了自我。