The next 6 years were an endurance run for both of us. I studied with a tutor twice a week until I could haltingly read my lessons. Each night， my mom and I sat at my little desk and rehearsed that day’s schoolwork for at least 2 hours， sometimes until midnight. We drilled for tests until my head pounded and the print blurred before my eyes. At least twice a week， I wanted to quit. I had the strength of a kitten， but my mom’ s courage never wavered.
She’d rise early to pray over my school day. 1000 times I heard her say， “Lord， open Peter’s mind today. Help him remember the things we studied.”
Her vision reached beyond the 3 R’s. Twice I won at statewide speech competitions. I participated in school programmes and earned a license to work as an announcer on a local radio station.
Then my mother developed chronic migraines during my senior year. She blamed the headaches on stress. Some days the intense pain kept her in bed. Still she’d come to my room in the evening， wearing her robe， an ice pack in her hand， to study with me.
We laughed and cried when I passed my senior finals. Two days before graduation I talked to my mother and father about Bible college. I wanted to go， but I was afraid.
Mom said， “Apply at the Bible Institute in our town. You can live at home， and I’ll help you.”
I put my arms around her and hugged her close， a baseball-sized lump in my throat.
A week after graduation， my mom felt a stabbing pain in her head. She became disoriented for just a moment， but seemed to be all right. It was another migraine， she thought， so she went to bed. That night Dad tried to wake her. She was unconscious.
A few hours later， a white-coated doctor told us Mom had an aneurysm that had burst. A massive hemorrhage left us no hope. She died 2 days later.
My grief almost drowned me. For weeks I walked the floor all night， sometimes weeping， sometimes staring at nothing. Did I have a future without my mother？ She was my eyes， my understanding， my life. Should I still enroll in Bible School？ The thought of going on alone filled me with terror. But， deep inside， I knew I had to move on to the next step， for her.
When I brought home the first term’s books and course outlines， I sat in the chair at my little desk. With trembling fingers， I opened my history book and began to read the first chapter. Suddenly， I looked over at the chair she used to sit in. It was empty， but my heart was full.
Mom’s prayers still followed me. I could feel her presence. I could sense her faith.
In my graduation testimony I said， “Many people had a part in making Bible college a success for me. The person who helped me most is watching from Heaven tonight. To her I say， ‘ Thank you， Mom， for having faith in God and faith in me. You will always be with me.’ ”
我跟着母亲走进医生办公室，一屁股坐到母亲旁边的一把软椅子上，感觉口干舌燥。医生没有戴听诊器，他的房间里满是小装置和小玩意儿，那是用来分析成绩不好的学生是否具有学习障碍的。那天，他给我作了全面检查。
医生不紧不慢地翻看着病历，然后用食指推了推金丝边的眼镜，说：“我很遗憾地告诉你，杜夫人，彼得患的是阅读障碍，比较严重。”
我局促不安，几乎要窒息了，并努力使自己的心情平静下来。医生接着说：“他顶多能读到四年级，既然无法上高中，我建议你还是让他去上职业学校吧，那样，他还能学到一些手艺。”
我不要去职校，我还要像爸爸一样当牧师呢。我热泪盈眶，却强忍住了，我12岁了，已经是大孩子了，不能再哭了。
